Confusing Adults!

Parched weather, warm winds – when inhaled, it literally felt like drinking fire! It might burn my throat sometime soon. Standing by the window at 2-18pm, the summer holidays were like a game of “letsPlayTheHumanStove” for me. Taking some time from staring at the huge unnamed-lifeless tree outside my window I looked into our room. I saw my family members sleeping on the floor and the chaarpai and the table. For a second I thought I was the only living being observing the world around me. I never saw Baba, Maai and my elder sisters sleeping in the afternoon.
Even Shiva, my 1.5 year old dog was resting with all peace of this world on the terrace. Shiva was the second most loved thing for me – after Maai. A year ago while returning from school I found him lying on the road, that half dead kid drank all the water from my water bottle. He was thirsty, terrified and feeble. I took him home. Gave him one of my breads and more water.
In few months he was accepted as the sixth member of my family. My two elder sisters loved him, even Maai used to talk to him, though he seemed uninterested. Baba on other hand never talked to him. Never even held him and cuddled. I heard Baba once talk to Maai about Shiva. “We are unable to feed a family of five already, tell him to drop the dog back to where he found it. The more he will grow, the more he is going to ask for food now and then”. These were his exact words. Since then I used to take him and hide him on the terrace once dad came home from farm.
Shiva was my only friend in our entire village. I had few friends before I got Shiva but they went somewhere far away from our village. Maai said they were not getting enough money from farming so they shifted to other city to get work. Since then I always wondered how money was anywhere related to farm! Farms were supposed to grow food. Maybe they never got the seeds to grow money crop, but we too never had any Money-seeds to grow them in our farm. We were still in the village, surviving. These talks of adult people were bewildering. Adults are boring. Though Shiva never talked, he never let me feel sad about their absence.
That year I felt this strange aura in my family. Maai and Baba barely talked to us. My sisters left school. They were helping Maai to wash dirty dishes and cloths at the sarpanch’s place. This Sarpanch guy was the hero of our village. Every villager used to salute him or folded hands in front of him. Though, I never saw Baba doing that. He even told us siblings to never do it. This sarpanch guy had a wife. She was glittery and shiny all the time. She had gold all over her body. I loved how she used to put on a fancy goggle and walk through the village road. The last time I saw something like that was when Baba took us all to the Mela of our village. There were these clowns just as lustrous and colorful as her. Maybe she was a clown. But Maai never loved the way she pulled that look off. No wonder Maai was scared of clowns at the Mela.
This sarpanch guy had a son. He was also like a clown, a small clown – but was rude. He never let me and Shiva play in his farm. Not even with his vibrant and fancy toys. I wondered clowns were supposed to make us laugh but he always shooed me and Shiva away. He also had a dog, healthier and handsome than Shiva but all he did was bark and eat.
Our village seemed like a dead place. Dry soil, lifeless trees, stories of cattle eradicating and migrating people. People blamed the Sun for being too harsh. They cursed the weather. They used to call it as Drought. Yet another confusing thing about adults! Why were they swearing the sun for no water in their farms? Water was supposed to come from the well not the sun? Aaah ADULTS!!
One day this sarpanch guy had a grand fest at his Wada. Maai and my sisters went at his place early in the morning. Fests were supposed to have a lot of food and dirty dishes too. Maai and my sisters were washing all the day. They even had work during the night hours as the fest was about to last for two days. Having worked for more than 13hrs my sisters were hungry and tired. Maai told them to go home and have something to eat. They refused to leave Maai there alone as the workload was about to increase. Maai couldn’t watch those trembling hands of her girls and she told them to sit in the corner while she arranges some food from the sarpanch’s kitchen. She went straight to the kitchen asking for some food for her daughters. She was kicked out by the other servants. They cursed her and warned her to not to enter the backdoor ever again. She was restricted from going home until she’s done with all the dishes. Maai came out and went straight to the unfinished food left on the dishes. She took a spoon and collected the uneaten part as much as she could and gave them to my sisters. As soon as my sisters started eating the stale food the sarpanch’s most trusted servant saw them. He went straight to his maalik and narrated a story with all the spices he could. Furious sarpanch came to the back porch and dragged my sisters into his house with the help of his two other servants. Maai was washing clothes in another part of the Wada as she couldn’t hear them scream.
The next morning when Maai came home, she was numb. My sisters were all jolted with fear. They were crying but there wasn’t any sound. Just tears. I never saw anyone cry that was before. What could have ever happened inside the Wada? When Baba came home from a tiring day in the farm, Maai broke down and narrated whatever happened at the sarpanch’s place. Baba was shattered. He sat on the floor and held his head in both his hands. I went to Maai asking about the incident, she pulled me closer and hugged me tighter. I was surprised again. Why are adults so complicated?? When a rich man drags you in his wada which is full of food and toys why would someone cry at it? I would have gone happily in there!!
This morning Baba was surprisingly happy. He bought some sweets from the market and gave it to Maai. She promised me to serve it with the lunch. Baba even spoke us about taking us all to the mela in the evening. I rejoiced. Shiva and I danced on the terrace. Yaay!! I was excited for the lunch. It was like a festival. But May month never had any festival before!!
Maai was cooking khichadi after a long. In the morning the smell of Sheera woke me up. Baba was having Sheera for breakfast. He called me over and gave me a plate full of it. I suddenly felt like being a Sarpanch’s kid. I went on the terrace and gave some Sheera to Shiva. He ate it like a king. And yet again, this altered air at my home kept me thinking. Yesterday all six of us were crying and today morning we are having sheera and khichadi for lunch! Adults are harder to understand. Shiva was easier though. He ate and played. I kissed him and went back to Maai.
I sat in her lap and saw her cook with utmost dedication. At 12pm Maai called us all for the lunch. I and Baba sat together. Maai served us on the banana leaf. Oh the essence!!! Baba gave me some tilak to put on my forehead. We prayed to God. Though I never knew what the prayer was yet I said it till the end. Suddenly I realized Shiva never had a lunch like this before. I took my banana leaf and went straight on the terrace. Shiva was overjoyed!!! I kept the leaf in front of him and went down to take my glass of water. As I went upstairs I saw Shiva eating the sweets baba got this morning. He ate it all, without even leaving a grain. I finished my khichadi and went into the kitchen to see if there was any sweet left in the box only to find it empty! I was heartbroken. It was the only sweet baba got for us after a long and my taste buds sobbed like never before.
It was 6pm already. I was still standing at the window, thinking about how confusing adults were. But then I realized no one but me was awake. I stormed upstairs to see Shiva; he was deep into his sleep. I tried waking him up but he didn’t even move his tail. That was surprising!!! I ran downstairs. I went near Maai. I shook her but she too didn’t respond. I felt like crying. We had planned of visiting the mela and no one seemed interested. That wasn’t fair at all!! Firstly I didn’t get the sweet and now the mela plan was about to fail. I was about to cry out loud but someone was knocking at the door. I wiped my tears and went to open. Our neighbor taai came to ask for some flour. I told her to talk to Maai as she was sleeping. Taai was surprised. She went in and after few minutes came out crying louder than me. She took me in her arms and hugged for long. Well some more confusion to add. I hated adults even more then. They don’t talk, they cry, they are happy now and devastated then!!!
Few days later I went to live at a new home. There were only kids just like me. We had a Didi but I missed Maai and baba. There were girls but they were nowhere like my sisters. I was told my family went to God’s place. They took Shiva with them. I never said the meal prayers right, maybe I was punished!!!!!!!! I even heard Didi saying something about the sweets my Baba bought that day. She even said I was lucky for not eating it. Those words of Didi confused me again!!!
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